Can a message come between Friends?
by Artemis Fowl II
Summary: Now the second part of 'The Fairy Project' Artemis get his phone back and Holly hears the message she never sent! Then they have to go fight a super smart troll and add onto that dwarf gas... This is not going to be a good trip. Rated for weird cake!
1. Chapter 1

A/N- This is a defiant sequel to 'Beep Beep', you do have to read 'Beep Beep' first or the message part won't make sense :) please click either the little go button at the bottom to review or send me a PM and give me your opinion. Have fun!

Oh and by the way, the italic paragraphs are scene dividers but also insightful calls like in the first couple of chapters!

Mobile Phones Ruin Everything.

As the phone continued its journey through time it was unaware that somebody had been tracking it. It was unaware for two reasons, one; it was a small gold disk and didn't have and self awareness but the more important, two; its batteries were dead.

Someone had been tracking it.

Someone had been following its journey through history.

Someone who knew the rules of the time tunnel.

Someone who could stop it and send it back.

Someone like… Artemis Fowl.

As it flashed briefly into reality someone noticed its arrival. Not just one someone, but two someones. The most noticeable was the gigantic mountain in a black suit. But if you got to know both of the well you would realise that the big man, who could think and deploy hundreds of ways of killing you with just a small piece of lint, was nowhere near as scary as the once pale youth next to him.

Artemis lifted his had and a look of concentration passed over his features. Shortly afterwards a single blue spark leapt from the tip of his outstretched fingers and jumped onto the gold disk where it sank in and turned the whole disk a glowing blue.

"Perfect butler, we have what we came for; this will not be bothering history again. Now what is it? Presumably a coin of some sort that got dropped into the vortex? Or perhaps… no, it couldn't be!" Artemis walked towards the still glowing disk. Butler looked as though he was about to warn Artemis but the boy picked it up and held it in his hand.

"What is it Artemis? And before you answer remember we have to be in Paris to pick up Juliet in an hour."

"No problem old friend! A work of a mere moment to get the plane ready." Artemis replied.

"Even with you magic you can't tell the airport to get it ready without a phone." Butler pointed out.

"Ah but I have a phone!" the boy said triumphantly.

"But your fairy com was lost in… the… it's in you hand isn't it… did you know before you picked it up?"

"No, but what a happy coincidence for me! I do some good for the human race by removing the starting factor of most wars and what happens?" Artemis asked rhetorically, "I get my phone back!" at that Artemis placed the disk on his palm and closed his hand around it, activating the generator that would turn his thermal energy into electrical energy and power the phone.

"You have fifteen messages!" a cheery little voice blared out through Artemis' thumb.

"play." Artemis said into his little finger and listened to the messages (the first couple of chapters). Afterwards he sighed and phones the airport telling them to get the jet ready.

"Let's go butler." Artemis said wearily.

"Is something wrong Artemis? You don't sound to happy." Butler asked as they made their way to the DB9 (1).

Artemis wordlessly handed the phone to butler who listed to it for three messages before speaking again.

"Root? Artemis he's gone, this thing just picked up a message from when he wasn't. Just remember what Holly said, he wouldn't want people to worry, just to get on and do their jobs." Butler said quietly, which would have surprised listeners. He didn't look the type to be gentle.

"Not that one, the fifth one." Artemis said, sticking to his good old defence of saying as little as he could get away with, this was a cover for his mind racing ahead and thinking of all possibilities.

Butler listened and then wordlessly handed the phone back.

"Do you think that was our Holly?" he asked.

"Well it is possible it picked up a different Holly from either the past, future, or maybe even alternate dimensions. It could even be a message she didn't send in the end. The time tunnel could have amplified its capabilities. I would have to test it to find out."

And at that moment the phone rang. Artemis picked it up but before he could say anything he heard…

_Yes Holly? This is Commander Root; I want you to check the area but whatever you do, DO NOT enter. Do you understand? _

_Yes sir._

**Click**

"well, I think we can safely say that it was, and apparently still is, picking up messages that are not form the currant track of events." Artemis said, triumphantly.

"Why can't it just be a message from the past?" asked butler.

"Well messages don't hang around that often and Holly's voice pattern has changes a semitone up in the years we have known here, it was at the currant rate in that message but Root was alive. It's not our world. Do you think I should tell her?"

"no." said butler firmly, "if it is our Holly, how will it look if we know about it? And I it isn't it could put her in a difficult position. Put her needs before your curiosity Artemis, just keep an eye on her and you will find out for yourself." Butler said.

"Yes I suppose your right. Anyway… on to Paris!"

_I don't know if you can hear me, I don't know if you want to, I don't even know why I'm doing this. You said you hated me but there is always a fine line between hate and love… I think I may have stepped over the line. Don't reply to this message. I don't want to know what you think but it's good to get that off my chest._

Holly loved flying. It was the best part of above ground missions. As she was now sector 8's official correspondent with Artemis, she got to fly practically every week! But still, no matter how many times she flew she never lost the feeling of joy when she took of, and the feeling of disgust when she saw what had happened to the world. Then she would remember that not everyone was bad, some mud men actually tried to save the planet and help out. Most of them didn't know what they were doing but one specific person had asked Foaly what to do, and was spending millions fixing the world.

I'll give you three guesses as to who it is… nope wrong! Juliet! Artemis was far to busy trying to cover up for the fact that he had been missing for years and Angeline had almost adopted Juliet as a fill in daughter. Artemis didn't mind, it let him go around and get on with helping Holly and the sector 8 guys (especially Foaly, even through the centaur would never admit it.) but today he was going on a special mission underground with Holly and mulch to catch a rouge troll that had been displaying unusually high intelligence levels. Holly had agreed to meet Artemis at Fowl manor once he had picked Juliet up from Paris.

And so she was on her way to Fowl manor.

Once she got there and landed on the balcony she once again broke regulations and took off her helmet to take a lung-full of fresh surface air. Just as she did she saw the sleek, black Bentley pulling up to the gates and decided it was time to get Artemis back for all the times he had surprised her. She put on her new shiver suit and shielded, making her completely invisible to the human, or currant technological eye.

She snuck up to the car and just as Artemis got out she unshielded and shouted "BOO" in his ear. He didn't even bat an eyelid. Just kept walking and said

"Hi Holly, you made it okay I see." And kept going to fowl manor.

Holly sighed; it got annoying sometimes when nothing she did seemed to faze him. And as her mind wandered it went to the message she thought about sending to Artemis the other week. In the end she had decided not to send it because she was sure it would make their work really awkward and as Julius had said "it's not what's good for you, but what's good for the people." Or words to that affect. So here she was, wondering what to do and about to pursue a freakishly intelligent troll deep underground with the boy she might like and his continental (2) companion, not to mention a dwarf who stank of sewage.

'_Just my day' _thought Holly.

As she landed on the balcony to Artemis' set of rooms where he slept, washed and most of the time ate, but most importantly where they planned their operations. She walked straight in because Artemis had given her a permanent invite into Fowl manor (and he had only added unless she cam to do him or any colleagues or family harm as an after though instead of as the main part of the invitation, he was changing albeit slowly).

As Artemis was freshening up after the flight Holly looked around his rooms and her eye was drawn to the little communicator she had given him when she was still a bounty hunter.

'_But hold on, didn't he lose that one when we fell out of the gallery window? Or was he just with holding the truth again? Maybe someone else gave him one! I better check it out.' _And so saying Holly walked over and picked it up, placing it in her hand and dialling up the interface menu. After looking through and finding nothing suspicious she turned her attention to the 15 odd voice mails. After listening to one in particular she went completely numb. '_How did he get this message?!? I didn't even send it! What's going on with the rest of the messages as well? Something is not right. I wonder if he has heard it. Wait, who am I kidding? Of course he heard it. This is going to make the mission somewhat difficult. Darvit!'_

But whilst out heroine was thinking this staring at her palm Artemis had quietly slipped back into the room. He instantly noticed Holly was staring at her hand and glanced over at the cabinet to confirm the fact she had the coin. That meant she had heard her own message, what was she thinking? '_Damn, this mission is going to be uncomfortable. Best to get this out of the way fast.'_

"Holly!" said Artemis, forcing cheerfulness into his voice, "I'm guessing you found my phone, guess where it was? Floating through the time stream picking up bits of conversation from alternate universes! The message of you on there, it's probably a different Holly, and most likely a different me. Don't worry about it; we have a job to do."

After her initial shock and jump, which she expertly covered up, Holly relaxed, Artemis thought it was an alternate Holly! This was perfect, she could blame it all on that… or could she. For a moment she forgot Artemis was there and muttered to herself, "What's best for the people, not you!"

"Pardon?" enquired Artemis, even though he had heard perfectly and put one and one together. However deciding the mission was more important at this moment he was pulling the old 'feinting deafness' move.

"Nothing, just thinking of Julius I guess." Holly replied trying to keep the shake out other voice. It had been months but she couldn't get over him being just gone, the worst part was that for everyone else he had been gone for years, they had time to adjust. Now Holly was on her own grieving for him.

"Don't! What ever you do don't think of him. Do the job that's in front of you. Keep looking forwards not back, that way it won't catch up until you are ready." Artemis said urgently, trying to stop Holly having a breakdown. Heartless it may be but what with one thing and another, another being certain message, he wasn't sure how to comfort her anymore. '_I can't even comfort a friend anymore, this message is going to screw up the whole mission I just know it._'

Little did Artemis Fowl the second know how right he was, and how wrong he was.

Well a sneak peak would be that there will be in the rest of the story:

No trolls whatsoever!!!

A clever ploy to get Artemis' (not gonna tell you what, you guess!)

Magic!

Mayhem!

A smelly dwarf

A modest amount of bragging

A modest amount of cake!

A not so modest amount of dwarf… gas!

More reviews!

That last one was what I need to get the first eight! Press the little button please :)

Yours in literature,

General Observation Board

(1)Aston Martin DB9, best car in the world 

(2)Not intercontinental, continental as in as big as one.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- right... last time I gave you a list of things that would, or wouldn't, be in the story. Only know have I realised what a tall order I have set myself  oh well, I hope the ideas floating around fit together or you might find I write myself into a corner and you all hate me for leaving the story to go cold… so! Story! Right…

The Best Laid Plans Of Dwarfs And Artemis.

As Artemis had been failing to comfort Holly, Butler had been getting on with something useful. He had let Mulch in, given him food, collected the required documents for the brief, fed Mulch, answered some important phone calls, fed Mulch. I think you spotted the pattern. Dwarfs like food, but their favourite food is of course free food.

Once documents had been collected, dwarfs given a suitable amount of food to last the half hour meeting and the same dwarf been given the help to carry the three plates into the briefing room, Butler called Artemis over the inter-house intercom.

"Artemis, we're all ready and waiting for you." He said clearly down the microphone.

"Yes, I'll be there in a minute." The reply came through. Butler closed the connection and walked into the briefing room. It was arranged very carefully. There was one big rectangular able in the middle, for this meeting there were four seats, one at the head of the table, two on the left and one on the right. Apart from that there were also three computer screens with webcams positioned in front of all four real people. They were for some of the more special members of the meeting who couldn't obtain an above ground pass without eyebrows being raised. The computer screens were positioned with two on the right and the last one on the left. Butler sat on the only chair on the right whilst Mulch had taken residence in the second chair to the left. A couple of minute's later Holly walked in and sat on the first left chair.

Artemis opened the double doors to the conference room and walked in, taking his seat at the head of the table. Once he was ready he pressed two buttons on the table in front of him, at the pres the two screens on the right came on showing Foaly and Vinyáya.

"Good, we are all here. Know as I have come to understand a troll has been seen in tunnel… G7?" Artemis started.

"Yes, it's not a major tunnel but we use it for importing sensitive material." Vinyáya replied.

"By sensitive material you mean?" Artemis enquired.

"Well anything from material to weapons, sometimes even prisoners." Foaly said.

"Are we sure this troll is a troll? It could just be someone trying to get their hands on some of that stuff. I've only seen a few of you guns and they are nothing small." Butler pointed out.

"We thought about that so we sent down a probe to check it out. Its definitely a troll, the probe was thrown nearly a mile back down the tunnel with holes in it. Nothing else can do that except machinery that wouldn't fit down there." Holly said.

"Well I think it would be easiest to follow the route drawn on the map I gave each of you? Right follow that red line and if we find a troll use this." And so saying Artemis held up a desert eagle.

"Artemis what are you saying? We shoot it. Even that thing won't kill a troll and if we killed it there would be mountains of complaints. We can't kill one of the people."

"Kill? I think not. This thing has been customised. Remember the cube? Well I put some similar technology in this. It will fire a beam of electricity at the troll, all we have to do is get a lock on its head for a second and it will automatically adjust the beam to knock the troll out." Artemis said only a tiny bit smugly.

"Foaly is telling the truth?" Vinyáya asked.

"Yeees, as far as I can make out." The centaur replied.

"Then why haven't we got one of these? I thought you were a genius!" the sector eight commander asked.

"I can sell you the design." Artemis said.

"So much for changed! How much?" Vinyáya asked.

"Well… I simply want permission to customise any fairy technology I get hold of. Not to sell, just for my own personal curiosity."

"And will we be able to stop you if we say no?" Foaly asked.

"Probably not, here are the designs" Artemis said, pushing a little button on the table again and hearing a quiet beep from Foaly's screen indication he had received them.

"Are we agreed into the mission then?" Vinyáya asked looking around at the other members of the meeting.

"No you bloody well are not! Vinyáya I want a word with you this is completely illegal!" a voice issued from the blank screen. As the voice spoke the face of ex-commander Sool. "You can't hunt down a troll let alone get a mud man to help. If the council found out they would have your job…"

"And give it to you?" Vinyáya finished, "you think they would ever give you a job again after what happened last time. Trying to wipe out the eighth family. I think not. Good bye Sool." And with that Foaly typed quickly and Sools screen was turned off. But Artemis had noticed something.

'_Interesting…_' Artemis thought.

"Right to finish this little gathering Holly, you have any of the sector eight armouries you can carry, Butler you too. Artemis talk to Foaly, he has some suits for all of you. Mulch you don't really need anything but if you want some weapons take what you want. Is there anything else?" Vinyáya asked.

"No that should be all." Artemis answered.

"Good, see you when you have the troll" Vinyáya said then ended her transition.

"There is a shuttle waiting at Stonehenge, a little unorthodox I know but we have to be careful. It's leaving in about five hours and coming directly to the sector eight headquarters. Good luck and I'll se you in a little bit!" Foaly said before ending his transition as well.

"Okay everyone, if there is anything you desperately need from here go and get ready, we leave in one hour. Butler, make sure the jet is ready." Artemis said as he stood to leave.

A/N- So to Stonehenge it is! What is Sool up to? Should I start doing sneak peaks at the end of a chapter or reminders at the beginning? These are all questions you can find out the answers to if you review!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- here I am again, updating during my school lessons :) this chapter is a bit of a fill in one to join the end of the planning and the beginning of the search.

A Tale of Shuttles and Armouries

The probe, a miracle of technology. The cutting edge of Foaly's brain. The best piece of technology under the earth. It was made entirely of a special Kevlar alloy containing iron with Kevlar strands mixed in. all of the actual machinery was inside including all of the sensors, because of this it looked just like a football. That is probably why It thought;

'_Ha ha… a football, I wonder how far I can kick it… Yay! I got into the end of the tunnel._'

And it may even be why the probe was sent crashing a half-mile back down the tunnel and into the waiting net of the LEP.

"Darvit, there goes another probe. Okay sends in a mark II cam-probe, at least then we should get a picture of it before it's smashed up."

"Sir? All the relay probes are in use, we haven't got one to spare except the hundred metre one."

"No, I'm not putting anyone within three hundred meters of that until we know what it is. Get a remote probe; we should be able to fly it past quick enough."

"Yes sir!"

"_Hello? Can anyone hear me? My name is Joseph. I'm stuck down this well… if you can hear me please get me out…"_

"_That was perfect! This is sure to get at least one award! Cut print and that's a wrap."_

The shuttle had been a bumpy ride, Foaly's software hadn't predicted the flare accurately enough and it had hit them on the last three seconds of flight. Not a major problem but one dwarf who could throw up the last meal he ate and mach 2… that right there is a big problem.

"Mulch! That was a new shuttle! You got barf all over the controls!" shouted a much disturbed Holly. She had been holding the controls. "Not to mention the fact my hand will smell of dwarf barf for hours! The ship is irreplaceable and unrepeatable!"

"Look I said I was sorry." Mulch whined.

"Yeah you did, and then you shot a ball of rancid puke out the back door." Foaly's voice came over the intercom; it wasn't difficult to hear the laughing.

"So what there wasn't anybody behind it!" Mulch shouted, but when his only reply was more sniggering from Foaly he looked around and saw the barf coated LEP officer trying to save their uniform. "Ah…" was all Mulch could say and he quickly scuttled after the retreating backs of Artemis, Holly and Butler.

Upon reaching the armoury the only thing they could say was;

"Wow…"

Even Holly hadn't been in the sector eight armouries. It was packed from floor to ceiling with all sort of shiny pieces of machinery. A wall of guns, varying from neutrino 4000 to the every popular 'god almighty shrapnel gun' which could blow a hole in a mountain.

Butler rummaged around until he found a gun he could actually hold. A siege rifle that wouldn't normally be aimed at anything smaller than metre thick iron doors. Upon finding it and a shouted warning not to fire it at anything he was done, the various bits of equipment he had obtained in fowl manor finishing his arsenal.

Holly went simple, she just took a neutrino 4000 with a fingerprint trigger, and then as an afterthought took a pulse rife, a new gadget called the extrudinator (it stretched things) and also took a full LEP field kit.

Mulch didn't bother to get any weaponry; he had his 'talents'.

Whilst they were all getting ready Artemis went to see Foaly.

"Arty boy, glad you're here!" Foaly welcomed him into the new opps room.

"I'm not, a rouge intelligent troll rampaging underground. I can think of better reasons to be invited somewhere." Artemis said.

"Yes well... the new suits, there is one for each of you. Butlers has built in moon belts everywhere, practically every clip is a moon clip. Holly's is the new shimmer suit, completely undetectable unless you accidentally walk into her. It should also prolong her magic. Mulch's suit has special properties suited for tunnelling; I don't think I need to go into that. And your, a difficult one. Then I remembered something. About a time tunnel. And little blue sparks…" Foaly left the question hanging.

"Who knows?" Artemis asked sharply, he didn't want his little talent getting out and being taken away.

"Only me, I though it best to leave you with it as a thank you. Your suit does everything Holly's does but it also has a few features. It helps you perform magic and automatically directs healing magic. Oh and its got a set of wings. You might want to acquaint yourself with the controls." Foaly finished his ramblings.

"Yes I think I will…" Artemis said, thoughtfully staring at the suit. "Can I keep this?" he said finally.

"Sure" Foaly answered, "It was made as a one off to fit you, its useless now. It should grow with you if the memory properties have anything to do with it."

"Thank you Foaly." Artemis said before taking the suits to everyone else.

A/N well this is the next one finished, as I said its rubbish but it's just a fill in chapter. I'm not going to post the next chapter (which is already written) until I get a review so push the little button!!!

Oh yeah, if you didn't get it back at the beginning where it says that is why It thought, the it has a capital I so it wasn't talking about the probe, just to clear that up.

Newly beta'd by: 4gVn SoUl (check out my stories XD)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N – strange title, completely sensible, read on to find out. Chapter one has been re-submitted for the reasoning that it was originally a third chapter for 'Beep Beep' but as I put it into a separate story of its own I had to change a few things. I have also found that I cannot submit chapters with their correct names because the names are in fact to long for the box. As such I will be leaving them as chapter 1, 2, 3 ECT.

Thank you once again for betaing my chapter 4gVn SoUl

I have also forgotten to put the disclaimer so here goes. YES I DO OWN ARTEMIS FOWL!!! I am in fact Eoin Colfer wasting away my life writing fanfiction instead of getting more books published and making millions of pounds. Come on… do YOU think I'm Eoin? Seriously?

Down the Tunnel, Down Again.

They all stood at the mouth of the tunnel. A slightly warm breeze blew through the entrance, hinting of another flare off in the distance. They were all putting off the moment of actually going in and facing the troll. It had all sounded so easy when they were planning, but was the pre-opp check had gone on it had sunk in how dangerous it was. Of course they were all going to do it; it would be just like the old times. Maybe too much like the old times.

They had pretty much waltzed with death in the old times.

Crap.

_And if I can funding for my project it will hopefully split the water molecules up, create energy from the release, and then create more energy from the water as it rejoins at the other end. This will create simple, clean fuel that can be drunk afterwards. As a demonstration here is the engine… I put the water in… turn it on… the wheel turns… and here is my glass of water again._

'**Dig, dig. Must dig. Must get away. Master told me to. Must obey master. That all troll do**'

_The failure of the water engine has left millions with cancer. The water produced has been funnelled back into mainstream water piping and has devastated millions. Apparently the weakened water bonds interfere with the delicate balance of the body and have given a 96 increase in the likelihood of getting cancer. BBC news, out. _

"Let's go, no point in putting this off anymore." Butler rumbled. And they all set off. Down the tunnel.

As the light from the portal faded they all activated infrared beams on their clothing and their helmets folded over their heads giving a clear picture of everything. For once Butler had a helmet that fitted and was marvelling and the technology, picking out detail from forty feet away like it was broad daylight.

As the tunnel twisted and turned Butler was forced to hunch down, these tunnels having only been designed for small cargo ships that would fit through the tunnel like a hand in a glove. This was a problem for the guy who was considered big by human standards.

Reaching the last turn before they would have a perfect shot at their target they all stopped.

"Artemis, maybe I better take the gun? I'm a better shot." Holly pointed out.

"Yes, good point. Here, pull the trigger to fire a tracing beam, when it hits something it will try to shut down its brain so be careful what your aiming at." Artemis explained.

"And your sure it is non lethal?!" Holly asked for the fifth time.

"Yes, 99.8 sure." Artemis answered.

"let's do this then, Butler, don't shoot unless it is absolutely necessary okay? Put your rifle on highest charge though. Be careful it recoils slightly." Holly told the bodyguard before holding up three fingers.

'**gods, what if this doesn't work? It could either kill the troll or it could just get it angry enough to come and get us.**'

One finger went down.

'**this could be a suicide mission if I didn't make that well enough. I went over the calculations five times but what if I missed something?**'

a second finger joined the first.

'**oh well, Butler should be able to stop it again. I hope. Please work please work please work…**'

the last finger went down and Holly rounded the corned, instantly covering all angles. Butler came round seconds after her raising his gun to his shoulder. Then Artemis and Mulch stepped round pointing their neutrino's at the tunnel that completely failed to become a troll.

After some searching they found the tunnel to be completely empty. Artemis sat on the floor and though.

"where could it have gone? Both ends are being watched. Is there something we missed?" Artemis said to him.

"look mud boy, don't take it personally but you aren't as in touch with the earth as we are. Watch this." And with that Mulch slapped a patch of wall that looked like any other and it swung open, revealing a tunnel that twisted and turned worse that the one they were in. one thing that was clear. It was defiantly heading downwards.

"down the tunnel, down again." Artemis said.

"what was that? Philosophy?" Holly asked.

"no, I just thought it was appropriate to explain for anyone wondering about the title." Artemis pointed out.

"…What are you on about? There is no title…" Holly started but Artemis interrupted her.

"never mind." And so they set off into the bowls of bowl of the earth.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N – reviews are kind of slow, and pretty much nonexistent, however three people have added this to their alerts list, this chapter is dedicated to the people who read this faithfully but can find no reason to review. You know who you are.

Beta'd by 4gVn SoUl

No, I don't own Artemis fowl, I don't make any money by doing this, and I don't even own the computer I am using! That's pathetic. At least I have my health right?!? Nope, not even that… I'm pathetic. Anyway, I'm not Eoin but the story is mine, please ask before reproducing.

Dedicated to ImpNo1, the only person who has reviewed this time round :)

To Be or Not To Be, a Troll!

"Go on, how did you know it was there? Don't even think of saying dwarfish intuition Mulch or I see what colour a dwarf turns when they get filled with plasma!" Holly asked, her waning only slightly serious.

"Well seeing as how you asked so nicely it was simple. There was a red outline round it." Mulch answered.

"But where does it lead, and who made it?" Artemis asked.

"This doesn't smell good." Butler stated.

"Sorry."

"No Mulch, not you. We get messages saying there is a freakishly intelligent troll down a tunnel that sector 8 use for transporting sensitive material, when we get here there is a secret passage that is not very well hidden leading god knows where and no sign of the troll! Something isn't right." Butler finished.

"You are right there actually. The tunnel isn't registering on any of my sensors. There is a sensor blocking material woven into the walls. Your call if you want to go or not." Foaly's voice broke over the helmets radio.

"Well I think that it is obviously a trap. The question is, do they know who will walk into it? I think not. Mulch can tunnel around the passage, me and Holly will go through it and Butler can wait for the steel doors hidden there," at this point Artemis pointed to a section of tunnel ceiling that looked no different to the piece beside it "and there to close." Again the point. After some scraping away the steel bars were where Artemis predicted.

"Go on then, I know you are dying to tell us." Holly said.

"The ceiling looked exactly the same as the patch next to it. Someone had just replicated the soil pattern over the top." Artemis said smugly whilst Holly rolled here eyes.

"Okay Arty, into the trap we walk. Are you sure about this?" Holly asked to clarify.

"Yes, trust me." Artemis replied. And Holly did. Almost to the end of the earth.

They set off.

_You talkin' to me?!? Are you talkin' to me?!? _

_Yeah I'm talkin' to you_

_Oh… okay then._

Mulched loved tunnelling. Being a dwarf it was his natural habitat and the area he had the most prowess in. He shot through the earth in the exact direction Artemis has said, never moving from the course he had mapped out in his head. As you would expect that was why he tunnelled straight out of the tunnel and fell six feet into the cage suspended on one of the chute walls.

"D'arvit!" Mulch swore. The trap had been sprung. He heard clanging as the iron doors fell and heard smashing as Butler opened them again. That was good. At least they were out, now they could free him right?

"Hello, Artemis, Holly, Butler. Anyone there? Helooo…" Mulch said into his helmet mike. Obviously either his was busted or theirs were.

"Foaly, I'm stuck down a pit in a chute with no way out and the others mikes are broken… Foaly?" and at that point Mulch would have given anything to hear the centaurs annoying voice blare out over the speakers telling him to stop whining. Instead he heard the maniacal laughter.

_One two three four…_

_Let me sing you a song,_

_A song about you,_

_Sing it real loud,_

_Just too… _

_NO WE AGREED TO USE THE OTHER CHORD!! START OVER!!_

Butler didn't like the situation. Walking into a trap was one thing, and it was usually best to avoid getting into positions where it would be avoidable. Now walking into a trap you knew was there sounded plain crazy. At least Artemis and Holly were going. If things went fowl (pun intended) those two had the best chance of fixing things. He saw the doors shoot down in front of him and knew the trap had been sprung. Just like they had planned he took out his grav-hammer and the door was no longer an obstacle. Unfortunately the trapper was one step ahead. The laser wire in front of Butler wouldn't buckle under a hammer.

At the sound of whooshing from either side of him Butler hardly needed to look, but did so anyway as a precaution. The laser net on either side of the tunnel was slight problem.

"Artemis, Holly are you there?" Butler said into his mike. The lack of reply was unincouriging but not entirely unexpected.

"Mulch? What happened?" now Mulches lack of reply was worrying. Butler never worried though. He made other people worry.

"Foaly. We have a situation." The static was not good. Someone was one step ahead. At the sound of the maniacal laughter Butler knew it was not going to be good.

_Well? What do you have to say for yourself?_

_Sorry…_

_Sorry for what?_

_For taking small countries, imprisoning their people and draining the land of its very blood and soul, just to satisfy my own need to have friends._

… _I meant for stealing a cookie. _

_Ah... Joking! _

"Foaly, how are they doing?" Vinyáya asked.

"Fine, their vitals are all steady, the camera feeds come back clean. It might not be a trap after all." Foaly said.

Now I will tell you a bit about Sods law. Sods law is the ruling force of the universe but it only applies to nice people. Think of all the times you made great plans but the weather ruined them. The times you were late so the council HAD to do road works all along the one road you need. The time you make the bet for all the money you just won… and loose. Sods law is a powerful, and unavoidable force. And sods law dictates the trap is sprung.

All the screens went blank as soon as Foaly finished his sentence.

"Foaly?" Vinyáya started but the centaur was already hard at work brining everything back up online.

"No feeds, someone is jamming every signal going in, or out of that place. D'arvit!"

Afterwards people said hey could hear the maniacal laughter at the top, and bottom of the tunnel. Weather they could or not I will leave up to you to decide. All stories need a bit of folk lore, a bit of mystery and a great big portion of weirdness.

_Well? What have you got for me?_

_Well, it's a new outfit. _

_Yes yes I can see that, why does it look like my dog threw it up?_

_Sir I.._

_You what? Worked hard? Put all your effort into it? Need this to feed your family? Don't care. Move along._

"You always take me to the nicest places Artemis." Holly said as they walked, rather too close for comfort,, down the tunnel.

"I do so try Holly." Artemis replied, smiling. "Look Holly, about the message…"

"It was nothing. From an alternate universe. One where I'm not as sensible as here."

"Yeah, right." And they walked on in not-quite-comfortable silence. They were both a bit distracted and that's probably why they didn't see the laser net spring up behind them. They did notice the troll though. Or rather, the not-troll.

Standing at the end of the tunnel was a mech-suit. A mechanically contraption covered in ill-fitting troll hide. The most scary bit was the fairy in the middle. It was a pixy, or rather it had been once. The poor thing had been mesmerised so many times it wasn't ever going to have a complete brain again. It didn't take Artemis' two hundred and ninety four IQ to put two and two together.

"No troll, thinks it's a troll though. Be very careful. My ray would probably kill the poor creature in seconds." Artemis said, being very careful not to move his body or attract attention from the metallic monstrosity. And just before Holly could reply… the floor caved in, dropping them in a very small underground cage.

"Communications are out, don't bother trying. Mulch is incapacitated. Butler is well and truly stuck." Artemis said, a touch pessimistically it must be said. Holly didn't listen and tried the radio anyway. Static was her only reward.

Then the laughter started. It began as a light evil chuckle but quickly gathered momentum and volume. It was soon a full on maniacal laugh. The silhouette fell across the hole at the top of the cage. Holly looked up, took one quick look at the fairy and groaned.

"We're in for it now Artemis." And with that they were whisked away in former Captain Turnball Root's transport.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N this chapter is dedicated to all the people who have added this story to their alerts list, this chapter is really scraping the bottom of the metaphorical barrel that is my imagination so any ideas would be greatly appreciated, I have a general direction I want this story to go but… well you'll see after you read this that it is kind of rubbish and needs some work :) oh well.

BOW BEFORE MY NOT EOIN COLFEREYNESS!!!! (Yes it's a word.)

Beta'd by 4gVn SoUl once again, apparently she is looking for more beta work… I don't know, I don't listen to her…

Blabbing Your Plan Has its Disadvantages

'_Crap_' thought Mulch. This was a tiny bit of an understatement. He was stuck, in a large cage, hinging from a tunnel wall, suspended above a lava chute. Not a favourite position for a dwarf. The whole not liking fire thing they had went doubly so for pools of lava. Luckily there hadn't been a flare yet, but it was only a matter of time.

"Anybody? Help would be greatly appreciated, its not that I don't want to turn to a dwarf scented gas… actually that about sums it up. HELP!!!" Mulch shouted, but it was no good. A comm.-blanket had been set up. A comm.-blanket was a useful device that stopped all communications across a very wide area, now it was stopping Mulch contacting Butler, Foaly or Artemis and Holly. It also meant that Butler didn't know he wasn't supposed to follow Mulch's tunnel and see where the little fellow had got to.

"AAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Thump! And Butler got up again. "Mulch, you okay?" said Butler, dusting his now ruined suit.

"Not back big B, have been worse. No wait… nope this is pretty bad." Mulch said, proving he wasn't hurt enough to resist the temptation to exercise his sarcasm muscle.

"Any sign of Artemis or Holly?" Butler asked.

"Nope, I fell in here are hear the manic laughter. That's it." Mulch replied.

"D'arvit." Butler swore, showing that he had picked up more than just nifty guns from the fairies.

"No need for that language, Foaly should be down here soon. Unless the flare fries us first." Mulch said gloomily.

"Can't we climb out?" Butler asked, pulling at some of the bars to see if they would take his weight.

"Nope, they are super slippery, built to stop people climbing out." Mulch said, sitting in a corner.

"What about breaking out?" Butler asked.

"Now that could work!" Mulch said excitedly, getting up. "They hopefully sacrificed strength for the perfect surface!"

"Well, hold on, I'm going to try and open a door." Butler said, raising his fist.

SMASH…SMASH…SMASH…SMASH…

Butler hit the wall again and again, not even denting it.

"Guess that didn't work" Mulch pointed out as Butler stopped momentarily.

"You always look for the weak point. The third bar in is slightly wobbly. Watch." And after he had caught his breath (the whole age thing was really annoying) he hit the third bar in and knocked it straight into the tunnel.

Before Butler could say I told you so, there was a booming from below them. A thunder so loud it sounded like the gods were shouting at the dwarf and the human.

"A flare is coming!" shouted Mulch, right in Butler's ear so he could be heard above the noise.

"Go through the gap and tunnel out of the way." Butler shouted back.

"What about you?" was the yelled reply.

"I'll think of something!" and with that Butler physically threw Mulch over to the tunnel wall where the poor dwarf had no choice but to eat his way through the tunnel, wrecking his trousers in the process as he failed to open the bum flap.

Butler looked around the cage, trying to find something to save him. His only chance was to get through the tunnel. He hammered and hammered at the bars, trying to create a gap big enough for him to fit through.

He was still hammering when the lava surged up.

Still hammering as it raced towards the surface.

Still hammering as it leapt, hungrily at the bottom of the cage…

He stopped hammering. The lava continued along the path of least resistance. Nothing could possibly survive. Nothing that got in the path of the lava stood a chance. Everything that got in its way was killed.

_Well, I came all this way to… you've got to be kidding me… a rubber chicken… not even a proper gun… pathetic. What do you mean it's got a gun up it's… ah. Bye then._

_BANG_

_And the moral of the story is… never trust a bank robber with a rubber chicken, it could have a sawn off shotgun up its arse._

Holly opened her eyes, then regretted it. Her head was on fire, her eyes were in fire. In fact everything hurt to some degree. As her eyes opened for the second time, and she had managed to stop the pain blinding her, she was able to make out an elf standing in front of her. As coherent thought returned she managed to remember what had happened. She had walked down the tunnel and had fallen into a cage where… OH GODS, TURNBALL ROOT WAS BACK!! He had given her the sedative and… but why was her head still hurting? Shouldn't the magic have healed all the pain away?

"_Crap_" she thought. The only other time she had been left powerless has been for the training exercise when Julius root had drained it all. Had Turnball picked up the trick? "_Time to open my eyes and find out…_"

Holly opened her eyes for the third time she made out the figure of Turnball root standing there watching her. Instead of swearing at him like she really wanted to, she remembered Julius advice and carefully reviewed the surroundings before talking.

She was tied to a chair. That became painfully obvious, especially when she tried to move. Her hands were tied behind her and the chairs modified back, meaning she couldn't move her hands away from the chair and because of the shape, she couldn't move her body without detaching her upper limbs first.

Looking around some more she saw she was in a ship. A rather high quality ship as well, it looked like it was fresh off the assembly line. There were rows and rows of high tech machinery lining every surface but no way to use any of it. Then the biggest problem became apparent. Artemis was tied next to her. Not as bad as you think but from Holly's point of view it was the end of the world. She was relying on Artemis getting away and letting people know Turnball was back. Unfortunately Artemis looked unconscious.

"Don't worry about your little mudboy friend. He's not out; he woke up about an hour ago and just shut his eyes, ignoring me." Turnball put in when he saw her look.

"_Good, Artemis is meditating; hopefully he will be able to find a way out of this pickle._" Holly thought.

"Okay Turnball, how did you get out, why am I drained and what in Frond's name is you plan?!?" Holly started calmly and ending shouting at the top of her lungs.

"So melodramatic Holly, but I wouldn't want to let little Arty get any ideas now would I?" Turnball said, like he was talking to a child.

"He's out, he never was very brave. He's probably fainted." Holly lied, hoping Artemis would get the message.

"Well I think he is not, but my body scanner should help to see if you are telling the truth." And with that he whipped out a small black metal bar and proceeded to wave it all over Artemis like a magic wand. After about three minute it beeps three times and Turnball looked at the result.

"Well it seems you were telling the truth Holly, he is unconscious! Very well, I think I can tell you my plan. You never were the brightest recruit." At this Holly just relaxed, brushing off the insult. He wanted her to react, and then he would get pleasure out of her misery, she just ignored it and made herself as comfortable as possible considering the circumstances, listening to his diabolical plan.

"Well, as you have probobly already found out the troll was actually a pixie in a mech-suit. I got one of my lackeys to mesmerise him to think he was a troll before sending him into the tunnel I thought he could get the most attention. After Foaly had radioed for your friend I set my traps. Mulch had a cage set up in the tunnel wall, designed to hold him in no matter what, and Butler should be inside the cage as well now, after following mulch. Foaly has no idea what has happened to you but in a minute he will get a transmition saying you are fine and are in pursuit of one Doodah Day, therefore ridding him of any suspicion that I am involved.

"When I got you here I used the method I devised for training and drained your magic with a pin. Now you wake up and wonder what all the elaborate planning was about? Well let me tell you.

"When I was spurned by the entire fairy race for what I did I thought I needed a way to get back on top. Artemis is the key. I need his help, or rather his brain. I know that he would never willingly help me and so I have made a mechanical body for him that means he has no choice but to obey. All I need to do is transfer his brain into it and get him to build my machine.

"If you are wondering my machine is a special chemical carrying block. It will be lowered into police plaza and detonated, covering the city in my new chemical weapon. An illness that strips you of all your magic… forever! No more shielding, Mesmer, healing, NOTHING!!! The magic will be cut off and you will be unable to stop me!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!Hahahahaha!!!!!Hahaha!!!Hehe!!! He! HE!" and with that rather long winded explanation Turnball root walked away, leaving his captives to contemplate their untimely end, and the end of all magic…

Four minutes later Holly was done contemplating and trying to find a way out. Luckily Artemis was one step ahead, well more of a step and a slight jump to the left. He wasn't going to build any machine, he wasn't going to wipe out magic and that creep would not have is brain… he had a plan.

A/N Wow, that was my first long evil dialogue, what did you think of it? Too over the top? And should they all die or should his plan work? The majority will win  review to get you next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N- here I am again in my CiDA class, writing stories for you guys when I should be doing coursework… As you have probably seen I try to update very quickly except over half terms, but I may be a bit slow with the next update as I need to actually complete the coursework I have been promising my teacher has been done fore months.

Nope, still don't own Artemis fowl, I really wish I did and I wish Eoin would hurry up and finish 'Time Paradox' already :)

Once Again Beta'd by 4gVn SoUl

Why in the Name of God Didn't You Fart?!?!?

Mulch felt terrible. He had abandoned his biggest friend to be incinerated by lava. A small part of his brain was saying to him;

'Well it wasn't _your_ fault was it? He threw you out so you couldn't help him!'

But a much bigger part was shouting;

'**But he threw me out to save me and I didn't even try to help him out! I should have done something! Anything!'**

Then mulch realised he had been shouting at himself and took a moment to calm down. There was nothing he could do, he would just have to go back to Foaly and tell him what had happened. That should help put things right.

Upon finding his way back to tunnel G7 he found the laser nets that had forced Butler into his tunnel. Being a dwarf though he just burrowed underneath them and walked the long way back to the end of the tunnel. There he found Foaly.

"What happened Mulch? Aren't you meant to be in pursuit of Doodah Day?" Foaly asked as soon as mulch arrived.

"Because we were after the guy who ambushed us." Mulch replied, more than a little annoyed that Foaly wasn't telling him what was happening.

"Yeah, Doodah. Apparently Artemis and Holly and Butler are in pursuit of him already." Foaly explained.

"Ah… someone is telling tales. Butler is dead." Mulch said, once again mentally hitting himself for letting Butler die.

"Butler is dead? No Artemis said he is with Butler!" Foaly said, trying to believe anything in the hope that Butler wasn't really gone. He had never interacted much with the big mudman but he had a grudging respect for him.

"No. I got caught in a cage, Butler got stuck as well, flare came, he threw me out then got vaporised." Mulch told him. After Foaly's initial shock mulch retold the entire tale from start to finish.

"Mulch, that cage is practically impossible to break from the inside, but its weak as a pixy on the outside! Why in the name of god didn't you fart at it?!?" Foaly said, his voice raising several decibels as he went on.

"How was I supposed to know? I'm not a technical genius! Anyway it shows that someone is lying to you." Mulch said smugly, it was rare he could prove Foaly wrong.

"D'arvit! That means someone is sending me a false signal. I'm going to check over the footage and see if we can get any leads." Foaly said, his voice getting fainter as he got farther away. Mulch just stood there letting the loss of his friend sink in.

_**Time and again, however well we know the landscape of love,  
and the little church-yard with lamenting names,  
and the frightfully silent ravine wherein all the others  
end: time and again we go out two together,  
under the old trees, lie down again and again   
between the flowers, face to face with the sky.  
Rainer Maria Rilke  
1875-1926**_

"Holly. I have an idea." Artemis said, indicating he had an idea.

"Do tell." The elf replied.

"Butler showed me a trick for getting out of ropes. First you twist you hands forty degrees right, the seventy three degrees left, then using the slack you just made you feed the rope down the middle of you hands, twist it round there like that and pull!" so saying the rope holding Artemis' hands together fell to the floor and he stood up.

"Um… Artemis?" Holly said still pulling at the rope. Artemis took pity on her and knelt behind her, pulling at the rope.

"_Oh no… calm down Holly, you can't afford to get excited. Don't worry; he's only untying your hands, not tying them to a bedpost to… oh gods."_

Artemis was not as oblivious to Holly's excitement as she thought; he could se her breathing harder and see the blush on her cheeks.

"_Oh no, Butler was right. Damn, this makes everything more complicated._"

He hurriedly finished untying her and stood up. She followed him and they looked around the room they were held in, trying to find anything they could use.

"We'd better get out of here, no doubt there are cameras." Artemis said, always the practical one.

They left the room and entered another, pretty much identical as the first except this one didn't have any machinery in the middle, or chairs to tie captives to. After looking around they found a hidden door that lead into a plainly decorated corridor, lined in velvet and crimson wallpaper. Turning to look behind them they saw the entrance to the rooms they had been held captive in was hidden behind a painting. Continuing on they saw numerous doors leading off but none lead to anything useful.

Finally they found a window. They looked out and saw they had landed in a gigantic cave, filled with bits of machinery, racks of weapons and there were platoons of soldiers marching up and down everywhere.

"D'arvit." Artemis breathed.

"You can say that again." Holly said, equally as quietly.

"D'arvit." Artemis replied, "come on, we can't escape standing here, lets go."

But upon leaving the room they heard a quiet clicking noise come from all the doors. Artemis looked at Holly and saw the worry in her eyes, she no doubt saw the worry in his. They both knew what was coming. They turned and ran as they heard the heavy boots clomping on the hall floors. They tried to run the length but the soldiers rounded the corner first. A salvo up purple lasers appeared around them, Holly fell almost instantly, hit in the back. Artemis couldn't bear to leave her, he turned and picked her up, then ran the length of the hall, and he reached the corner without being hit. Then the laser hit him. It didn't knock him out like it did Holly; it just made him slow down and his mind became sluggish. Seven more lasers hit him and he went down unconscious.

A/N not the longest chapter I know, but it is only a fill in one between their first escape and their second, oh and I needed to kill of Butler. Plot element :) yes people he is really dead, sorry. (Well maybe dead.)

The poem is not mine, don't flame me. It found it here: ( escape method I tell in these e-pages IS NOT REAL! I made it up completely so don't under any circumstances try it in real life, and don't go get yourself arrested, tied up and executed for trying to escape (that would be bad.)


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Fast running out of ideas! If anyone can lend me a thought or two I might just finish this story soon! I just need ideas about the Arty x Holly thing, how can they get closer together and how could they end up?

Well, I'm still here; I'm not rich and famous. I don't even own the computer I am using… I don't think that I am Eoin and if I did own this I would have finished 'Time paradox' already!

Beta'd by 4gVn SoUl (many thankies bookie!)

THIS CHAPTER MAY BE A SLIGHT BIT MORE DISTURBING THAN THE RATING WOULD ALLOW, IF YOU THINK YOU MAY BE SENSETIVE DO NOT READ ON, PM ME TO GET A FILL IN ON THE STORY, I DON'T KNOW WETHER OR NOT TO RAISE THE RATING SO THIS IS JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

A Modest Amount of Cake.

Foaly had been in the opps booth for over three hours, playing videos over and over, playing the audio over and over and even playing their vitals over and over. There was nothing. He had been looking for anything. A glimpse of something, a hint of a clue as to what was going on. Nothing. The only thing he had to go on was the slight blip in their vitals, like they had been surprise at something. That wasn't anything. Most people would be surprised by being kidnapped.

But surprised twice? They were shocked about being captured, probably by the trap being sprung… but then they were shocked at who was kidnapping them… it had to be someone they already knew.

Foaly started to run background checks on every criminal Holly and Artemis both would recognise by face and then checked if there had been any unusual activity. There was only one. But Artemis had only seen him once, when he had been given a look and had helped to design a prison cell from him… but when had he last been checked?

Foaly opened a camera link to HIS cell and looked in. No one there.

"D'arvit! Commander! We have a situation here…"

_Ya'll want fries with that?_

Holly opened her eyes again; it didn't hurt as much this time. Or maybe it did and she just didn't notice anymore, God only knew how many times she had been sedated and knocked out… she noticed that she wasn't in the same room as before and she was tied to the chair much more securely. She couldn't even feel her hands at the moments, let alone twist them like before.

Once again she noted that Artemis had his eyes closed, but after further examination she noticed he had several burn marks on his neck and arms where he had been shot repeatedly.

"_He must still be sleeping it off. Oh well, my turn to think of something._" Holly thought. She tried to move her hands but the friction just caused her to cut her wrists. She turned her attention back to the cave. There were two chairs; a door that looked like it could stop a bull elephant and a floor to ceiling window.

Holly looked out of the window and gasped. They were in the giant cave they had seen but they had no idea how big it was. There were whole streets of near skyscraper heights and to top it all of there were whole platoons of military… things. Holly had no words for them. They looked like fairies but they all looked somehow wrong.

Then the door opened.

"Hello captain, no doubt you have seen my army." Turnball started.

"What are they Turnball? They aren't fairies, that's for sure." Holly said, gambling on the fact that she thought they weren't.

"No! They aren't! What they are in fact fairies whom I have modified. They had their organs put into a mach suit then their skin taken off the old bodies and put onto the metallic skin!" Turnball said gleefully.

"That's sick! What sort of fairy are you? It's monstrous. I'll bet they don't have any free will either right?" Holly said, anger and hate dripping from every word like venom.

"Of course not! That would be silly. Then they might not listen to me!" the worse of the root brothers said, as if he were talking to an imbecile.

At this point Artemis remained unconscious. Holly had run out of things to say, she was literally sick at what Turnball had done and promptly threw up all over his shoes.

"Oh captain! Those were my favourite pair! Now mother will have to knit me some more!" Turnball shouted, and then ran out of the room.

"Not entirely sane…" Holly muttered to herself.

About an hour later Holly was bored stiff, Artemis was still a stiff and the puke was starting to smell bad. Just then Artemis failed to wake up again, but Turnball (never one to miss a gloating opportunity) swept in. well, someone like Turnball can really sweep but the years without magic hadn't been kind to him and so his sweep quickly turned into a stumble, a trip and a fall-flat-on-his-face. Once he had returned to the world of the upright he dusted himself off and turned to face the door.

"Cake captain?" he asked before clapping once. This was the cue for three of the fairy-things to bring in big plates of cake and a table. After untying Holly and Artemis they moved them onto new chairs, nearer the table and secured their legs to the chair legs.

Whilst this was happening Turnball dished them each up a modest amount of cake. Artemis (who had more things to worry about than cake, like unconsciousness) fell face first into his cake.

"Very good Artemis! Eager." Turnball said, no trace of irony or joke in his voice.

"_That's another point on his crazy card. He is defiantly not all with it._" Holly thought.

"Holly, why aren't you eating you cake? I made it specially! It has all the left over bits from the old fairies in it!" Turnball said gleefully.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Holly shrieked and finally bought Artemis round.

"Wha… Holly… oh yeah." He sat up, instantly in control of the situation. "Turnball, there are three trackers placed around you. One in the ship you took us in, the second in here with us and the third is on you. These are being monitored by Foaly who is just dying for a chance to level this place. Give yourself up and you will survive, keep up this pathetic façade and you will die." Artemis told him, lying through his teeth.

"Well I think your lying! Now eat up you fairy cake or else!" Turnball said before sweeping out of the room. Yet again sweep-- fall-flat-on-face.

After he had gone there was a tentative:

"Fairy cake?" Artemis asked, almost dreading the reaction he would get.

"He has turned all his workers into robots and put the leftover squishy bits into a cake." Holly said miserably. Artemis pushed his portion away.

"Artemis, what are we going to do? We are utterly stuck." Holly said, her voice hinting of the nervous breakdown just waiting to show itself.

"Holly, don't worry. We have been in worse situations than this. Admittedly not many but we have. We'll wait for Foaly to figure out who took us then I'll activate the tracker." Artemis said soothingly.

"You have a tracker! All along and you never used it!" Holly shrieked.

"calm down, if I used it before Foaly knew who he was dealing with then he would send Butler and mulch in unprepared, if he knows who is behind it he can prepare them better." Artemis said.

"your right, I', sorry." Holly said, seemingly ashamed of her outbreak.

"Don't worry about it; we are both a little stressed." Artemis said.

They sat in silence for a bit before Holly said:

"The message… I would have sent it but I was afraid."

Artemis though for a moment before:

"I know."

"And?" she said, her voice a whisper.

Artemis didn't say anything, he just reached over and took her hand.

A/N there, new chapter up and running, what do you think? More romance or not? Should I just focus on the action or more on the romance?


	9. Chapter 9

A/N fear not! The title will soon make sense! At the time of writing I haven't uploaded chapter eight but I want to write some more so the first bit might differ from the suggested opinions about how to continue, but as soon as I get reviews I will change the way I write it!

You should know by now that I don't own arty, and you make me sad by making me say it over and over :'(

Beta'd by bookie-chookie! (4gVn SoUl)

Double Double, Cake Doth Bubble.

After ten minutes the fairy-things came into the room and separated Holly and Artemis, then they retied their hands behind the back of the chairs just as tight (if not tighter) than before. Then they left Artemis and Holly on their own again.

"If only I had my magic, I could get out of here." Holly muttered.

"What was that?" asked Artemis, just catching magic.

"If I had my magic I could burn the ropes away." Holly said a bit louder.

"How would you do that?" Artemis asked, thinking about his own powers.

"It doesn't matter, I'm totally drained." Holly said, once again going down the depression spiral.

"Holly! Just tell me!" Artemis near shouted.

"Well you rub your wrists against the rope until they bleed and when the sparks come to repair you rub them against the ropes, it burns right through them." Holly said.

Artemis started to rub his wrists and after about a minute some blood appeared. On cue the blue sparks raced down his arm to target the cut, and Artemis directed them onto the rope, making it smoulder and then finally break.

Holly looked up at the noise but Artemis was already in front of her holding the still smouldering ropes.

"Nice one Holly" he said before cutting the ropes holding her. As she struggled to move after the long time sitting down Artemis helped her up, but she fell forwards and knocked them both over. As the lay there staring into each others eyes… something went _**Gloop**_.

They both jumped up (more than a little bit flustered) and looked for the source of the noise. The cake was bubbling. After closer inspection they saw tiny blue sparks moving around, trying to build flesh and bones.

"Oh Gods! The magic left is trying to heal them. The poor souls." Holly started before throwing up everywhere.

"Interesting, I wonder if it would try to rebuild them if it got near their robotic bodies…" Artemis muttered to himself, but Holly heard him.

"No! You can't kill them, its not their fault Turnball cannibalised them. Don't kill them."

"Holly, listen. They aren't fairies anymore. They are just robots now, robots trying to kill us. If we don't get out Turnball is going to drain every drop of magic in haven. We can't let that happen and I'm sure they wouldn't want it to happen either. We have to get rid of any of the fairy-things anyway we possibly can." Artemis said, trying to comfort Holly but as usual the straight facts didn't help much.

"They were living fairies and he killed them." Then she straightened up, the only sign of her momentary weakness was the tears, still flowing down her cheeks. Artemis nodded and went over to the door. He looked at the door, looked at the hinges, looked at the locking mechanism.

"This door will never open without the access code, a ninety three digit access code or a personalised hand print." He stated, and then took a step back. He looked at the door as if he was sizing it up and then he lased out with his foot at a little spot, just to the left of the hinges. The door crumpled like it was a paper cup.

"Never open?" Holly said, sarcastically.

"It didn't open, it broke!" Artemis exclaimed proudly. Then they both ran out of the cell and into the unknown hallway beyond.

As soon as they reached the end of the afore mentioned hallway they were hailed by thousands of rounds of gunfire.

"They're using projectile weaponry! We haven't used that for thousands of years!" Holly exclaimed.

"Well, I think that way is sort of out of the question, let me see…" and with that Artemis started feeling around the walls, poking random things and feeling around any protrusions along the metallic surface.

"What are you doing Artemis?" Holly asked.

"No real villain ever has a cell without a way to get their without your guards noticing… aha!" he exclaimed before twisting a bank of computers. With that the entire wall moved up into the ceiling and left a set of stairs leading down into the unknown dark. Just as this was revealed however, there came the sound of heavy boots thundering down the hallway. The type of boots that own feet. The type of feet that own legs, the type of legs that even own torsos. But the scariest part was the torsos owned arms, the arms owned hands… and the hands owned guns. Big ones, that would not so much leave a hole in you, as leave some of you round a hole (yes there is a difference).

"Ladies first!" said Holly and pushed past, using her great night vision to try and she the steps, unfortunately she didn't get to do just that as she had brushed past Artemis and unbalanced him, they both tumbled down the stairs landing at the bottom with a heavy thump and a light snapping noise.

Then the door closed, throwing them into complete darkness.

"Ow…" Holly groaned as she tried to get up off of the floor, but only succeeded in rolling onto of Artemis. They lay there in silence for a few minutes before Artemis said:

"Well, this is cosy." Artemis remarked, he then tried to get up but a stabbing pain in his ankle wouldn't let him.

"Holly, I think I may have broken my ankle, I can't get up and but the sounds of it you can't move either… I think we may have a problem." And then he focused on his magic and tried to heal his ankle. Holly saw his expression and shouted a warning:

"No Artemis! You can't control your magic yet, trying to heal could do more bad than good!" and with that Artemis paused.

"But Foaly gave me this suit, it is meant to help direct my magic to injuries." He explained.

"Yes but I wouldn't trust Foaly with your first real attempt at healing magic, and who knows what Turnball could have done to that suit. Don't try it just yet." She said, her voice gaining strength slightly as she spoke.

"But at the moment you can't move, I can't move and we are stuck lying tangled up in Turnballs crazy palace." Artemis pointed out.

"Well, I think lying here with you is kind of… I don't know… romantic? We always seem to save the world on our own. Its nice just being able to lay here with you…" Holly said, trailing off embarrassedly at the end.

Artemis just lay there looking at the back of her head. Holly was getting nervous, thinking she had pushed things too fast, that maybe he didn't like her at all maybe…

But all her worries floated away when he took her hand and squeezed it gently. The two of them lay there for what felt like years. However ten minutes later a buzz came over the radio in Holly's wrist.

"Unit dubbed 'white angels', target is in sight, shadow target but do not engage, repeat do NOT engage. Unit dubbed 'black angels', do you have sight of the primary targets?" then it went silent for a second. But that second was all it took for Artemis to recognise the voice.

"Foaly!" both he and Holly whispered at the same time.

"Negative big cheese" Vinyáya's voice blurted over the radio, dripping with distaste for the name. "Targets are not inside the primary compound or in the remainder of the cave. Look big cheese, I don't think he took Holly here, her communicator is showing no signal whatsoever." Despair starting to creep into her voice. At this Holly couldn't wait any longer. She just managed to lift her radio to her mouth and Artemis pressed the button for her.

"Black angels? This is Holly here. Me and Artemis are incapacitated. We were in a prison cell located about fourteen floors up and overlooking the shuttle port. We went into the corridor and on the left hand wall there is a secret switch to some stairs. We sort of fell and Artemis has a broken ankle. I think I may have a broken neck and I'm running cold." There was silence on the radio for a minute before.

"Holly, it is really you? Don't answer, we are on our way. Don't move whatever you do, I have a plexiglass acorn here." Vinyáya said.

Again there was silence but it was shortly enjoyed. After barely a five minute wait they heard the door at the top of the stairs open and light flooded down, blinding the pair sprawled at the bottom. After a second the door shut and softer flood lights appeared around the room, fully lighting it up. But still there was no sign of their rescuers.

Suddenly fifty fairies unshielded and appeared, surrounding Artemis and Holly. Then one fairy separated them self from the ring and stepped forward. The visor on their helmet raised and they could see Vinyáya's expression was more than a little curious.

"What an interesting position you two landed in." she commented before taking the acorn in the sphere from around her neck. She opened it up and gently mover Holly's hand from resting on her mouth, to over the acorn. The soil in the sphere acted as the ground and the magic immediately began to flow. It raced down Holly's back and immediately targeted a spot about halfway up her back. After that it sunk into the numerous bruises and scratches she had obtained that day. But it didn't stop there. It flowed though Holly, filling up her magic reserves and then leapt through a small patch where Holly's top mad lifted and a small piece of her skin was resting against Artemis' skin (believe me they had noticed that already, neither had thought it prudent to mention it though) and Artemis felt his rather tiny amount of magic suddenly burst into life, he felt 400 better than he ever had in his life. But this sudden burst of magic did not go unnoticed by a silent observer.

"Bravo Artemis. You have stolen magic from fairy kind. Too bad. This room is where I manufacture the magic eating virus. Arranged around you are fourteen tanks? They are full of over fourteen hundred litres of the virus in its unweakened state. I haven't tested what might happen if someone were to shoot all the barrels and flood fifty two fairies with a magic eating virus. I think I will." And with that Turnball root lifted his gun, pointed it at the first tank and pulled the trigger. A laser burst built up in the barrel, increasing in power until it could have sliced clean through the empire state building… and it burst forth, vaporising a fly that had got too close, and it surged forwards towards the barrel.

A/N nice cliffy no? I want three reviews before I post the next one! I have al least three people who have this on their alerts list so I know I can get them! Thanks for reading and everyone who has reviewed will get mention in the next AND LAST chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N- here you guys are! The last chapter of 'Can A Message Come Between Friends?' and I have to say, I am kind of disappointed that I have to stop. But I always remember that you should stop at the end, and not keep trying to write when there is nothing to write about. If you want a sequel there will be some choices at the bottom, the one that gets the most reviews I will consider writing.

Nope, don't own it.

_Yet… MUAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!! Hahahahaha!!! Hehehe! Heehee! Whew._

Thanks for Beta'ing this story 4gVn SoUl! You've been great! A big round of reviews for her!

What is Normal Anyway?

The laser burst surged out of the barrel, shooting towards the silo, full to the brim of the virus. Just as it left the barrel there came a shout, and something hit Turnball in the midriff, sending him and his assailant off of the edge and into one of the vats of freshly prepared infectant. The laser shot off into the ceiling and they all heard it melt through some of the structural beams holding the building up.

_**CRASH!**_ The building onomatopoetically said (my computer says it's a real word :)).

"Wha…what happened?" Holly asked, shakily.

"Domovoi." Artemis replies sadly.

"Butler?!? Nut he died in a chute!" Foaly's voice came over the radio system.

"What do you mean?" Artemis asked, sure he had seen his old friend tackle the maniacal fairy.

"Couldn't have been he and Mulch got stuck in a cage on a chute wall, Butler threw Mulch out but got hit by a flare." Foaly explained.

"But that was Butler. Commander, play it back on you helmet." Artemis said, they did. It was Butler.

"The chemical he used, I don't know what effect it would have on a human. He hasn't surfaced for five minutes so far. I think he's gone." Foaly said but Artemis was adamant.

"He can hold his breath for ten minutes if he has to. He is still okay." But inside Artemis wasn't so sure.

Exactly four minutes and seven seconds later a head poked through the surface and twisted around. Nobody saw it as it climbed out and the person walked down the stairs to ground level where Artemis and Holly were being checked out by the medical warlocks who had been specially bought along.

The person snuck up behind them all, holding the laser gun, he levelled it… and dropped it on the floor. With that Turnball root died.

The body fell forwards and everybody jumped as it hit the floor.

"Turnball!" Holly said, immediately going for the neutrino that she had recently been re-supplied with. But there was no need. The knife sticking out of his back told them that. And with his final act of protection done Domovoi Butler, who had pulled himself over the lip of the container to throw the knife, collapsed and fell the fourteen feet to the floor. He landed with a crack.

"Well?!? What are you waiting for? Help him!" Vinyáya shouted at the stunned warlocks. As they jumped to it and ran to the fallen man, readying their healing magic Vinyáya rolled her eyes and muttered "Warlocks!" under her breath.

_And with that they all lived happily ever after. Their lives went back to normal, the prince married the princess and the evil witch was killed. _

_Yeah right._

_The witch came back with the rest of her coven, together they took over the kingdom. The prince and the princess got married, but were divorced later because the prince beat the princess. The kingdom went into disrepair and the all lived in poverty and misery for centuries until the new hero came along. _

_Real stories don't have happy endings._

_Real stories don't go 'back to normal' after the quest._

_What is normal anyway?_

The shuttle ride was uncomfortable. Holly, Artemis and Butler weren't allowed to say what had happened until they had been debriefed and Foaly, in his infinite paranoia, had insisted that if they spoke during the ride someone could pick up what they were saying and use it against them. On top of that Mulch had farted again. The thrill of seeing Artemis and Holly again had triggered certain bowel movements that were best left to dwarfs to know about. To put it shortly the shuttle stank. Bad. No worse than that. Worse even than that. Really bad (And with that I have fulfilled my promise in chapter one!). Holly and Artemis were sitting next to each other, wedged between four other Sector 8 officers. Not the most comfortable place to be when you have just declared your love to each other and you know that you can never be together because of the book and the fairy laws.

Uncomfortable…

Upon reaching Sector 8 again Holly and Artemis were escorted straight to a large white conference room. There was one long table in the middle of the room, and the table had 6 seats around one end and a jug of water in the middle.

Holly and Artemis sat down in the two chairs behind little name tags that pronounced that they should sit there. As they waited Mulch was bought in, then Foaly came and sat on his customised chair. Finally Vinyáya came in, pushing Butler on a wheelchair.

"Right people, there is a hell of a lot of explaining to do. How did you get captured? What was Turnball doing and why have I got two thousand fairies who are apparently robots?!?" Vinyáya asked, her voice not showing her obvious rage.

"Should we just start from the beginning?" Holly enquired [I am trying to increase me vocabulary :).

"Yes, that would probably be best." Vinyáya said, wearily.

And so Holly started.

After half an hour of Vinyáya and Foaly listening the tale was over.

"There are just a few things I don't understand. What happened to the troll? We picked up a life sign and there were all the key signs pointing to a troll in the tunnel. And secondly, what happened to Butler?" Vinyáya asked.

"The troll was a fairy who had been mesmerised halfway to death. It was completely out of it and had been put in a mech suit to give it the strength of a troll. As for Butler, it doesn't know." Artemis said.

There was a pause as everyone looked to Butler. He sat there for a while before clearing his throat and starting his tale.

"The flare hit the bottom of my cage; it sent me flying upwards and burnt my legs to goo. I got joined to the cage by the melting thing and hit an outcrop of rock on the way up," everybody winced," But after a while I heard someone coming. It turned out the outcrop was where No.1 was living. He healed me. We would have called but it took him a while to reconstruct my legs. The best part is the life force I lost from being healed from the bullet, I have gotten it back!" he said proudly. "Then he took me to where Turnball was and left me to deal with him. I wrestled Turnball into the tank and I tried to drown him, but he broke free and climbed out of the tank. The only way I could think of stopping him was the only weapon I had left. The knife."

And with that the tale was wrapped up.

_Dear friends, dear foes, to both alike. The tale ends here, the story done. _

_Or does it?_

_What about the prince and princess? Do they live happily every after? _

_Does the evil which come back with her coven and rule the kingdom? _

_Does everything fall into ruin?_

_We may never know._

_But that, my friends, is another story. And so I say not '__THE END__' and instead I say farewell for now. The story may continue, but not in these pages. _

A/N well that's all for this one! It would have a better ending but I got writers block. If you have any ideas about how to improve the ending please tell me and I will re-write it.

Choices for a sequel! I said I would have a couple!

4gVn soul, add any if you want!

Artemis and Butler return to a life of crime and steal the crown jewels.

Holly joins Artemis and Butler in a life of crime.

Artemis and Holly are outcast from both fairy and human worlds.

Artemis catches a deadly disease and Holly comforts him.

Julius comes back to life.

The fairies return to the surface.

The one that gets the most reviews will be written!

_So for now I say farewell._

_Good luck, good bye,_

_Fare well my friends,_

_Until we meet again._


End file.
